im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
