he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
