thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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