I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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