the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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