thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
