maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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