Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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