This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
