last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
