I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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