Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize