how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
