I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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