Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
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it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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