i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
