you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
