Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
