How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
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Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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