I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
