im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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