Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
