yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is wine microwaveable?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
