I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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