Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
