life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
