If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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