I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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