A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish you could order shots online.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
