I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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