she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
