I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
