brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she smelled like a LAN party
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
