But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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