you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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