clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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