He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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