He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
