haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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