So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
