We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
