I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
