Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
