I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
