I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
