I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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