What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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