apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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