well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
