I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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