There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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