How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I lost the right to judge tonight
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
