Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
