Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
