so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
