I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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