The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
