Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
