are you still at the devil's house?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
