I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
