he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
