Ambien. No doubt about it.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it's like heaven, but drunker
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
