i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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