my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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